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Deceptive Diane

Was Diane telling the truth about her relationship with Janey-E?

I’m starting to think Diane can’t be trusted. As much as I want to believe the hard-drinkin’, hard-swearin’, reluctant Blue Rose Deputy is on the side of the angels, I can’t help feeling a creeping suspicion that she’s working to banjax the investigation.

Let’s get Scooby-Doo and review the evidence.

Our first clue was the text messages she has been exchanging with Mr. C. Initially, I was keen to believe she was playing him, or working with a hidden third party, but the longer it goes on and the longer she hides it from Cole and the Gang, the more it feels like she’s working with Cooper’s depraved shadow-self and against the feds.

The first messages they shared were cryptic missives about “conversation around the dinner table”. Later, dropping any pretense of a coded language, Diane tipped her accomplice off to the latest events in the FBI investigation – telling him about William Hastings and their planned trip to The Zone. At that stage, Albert revealed to Gordon Cole he had been tapping her phone. He relayed the message to him and the Deputy Director said he had known for some time all was not well with Diane: “I felt it when she hugged me, but this confirms it.”

Diane Part 12 2

The FBI continued to monitor her communications and picked up another SMS exchange, with Mr. C asking: “Las Vegas?” – to which Diane replied: “They haven’t asked yet.” Given the dark Cooper’s mastery of black magic technology, I believe he knew their messages were being intercepted. Jeepers! On that basis, this question and answer were serving the sole purpose of deceiving the FBI – and represent the start of a campaign to divert the federal investigation over to Las Vegas.

So why would Mr. C want to send Tammy, Cole and Albert there? For the same reason that Old Man Travis didn’t want anyone hanging round the old abandoned fairground of course! He wants to ensure they are not in Twin Peaks when the vital time comes. He doesn’t need them meddling in his plans, whatever they may be. And so Vegas is a perfect diversion.

Mr. C is one step ahead of both the Lodges and the law at all times. He created Dougie Jones to trap the spirit of Cooper when the time came. I’m betting he also knew Dougie’s ring would end up in Major Briggs’ stomach, and that this clue would eventually come up on the authorities’ radar. He has played it to perfection and turned these events, which could have thrown a spanner in his dark works, to his advantage.

Which leads us to Diane’s latest, terribly convenient, revelation - that Janey-E Jones is her estranged half-sister, who just happens to be married to a man named Dougie. If Diane is in deep with Mr. C, which she obviously is, then we can’t take her word for it. She is merely helping to muddy the waters, offering the FBI the reddest of herrings.

And jinkies, guess what? They are already falling for it. Cole has alerted the Vegas Bureau that Dougie and Janey-E are suspects in a double-murder and should be considered armed and dangerous. This is the ultimate wild goose chase. I can’t think of anyone less dangerous than Dougie-Cooper.

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When they get to Vegas, Diane and Mr. C know the Blue Rose Task Force will inevitably recognize Cooper and become embroiled in an even deeper diversion, throwing them further off the scent and probably landing our lovable, vacant Dougie-Coop in custody. All of this plays to Mr. C’s advantage. He needs to get to his coordinates, which indicate a location somewhere near Twin Peaks, without any interference from the feds, his ‘better half’ or any other damn meddling kids.

So, will the Blue Rose squad fall for it? Or will events in Buckhorn mirror Deputy Chad’s unmasking and detention – with Diane revealed as the traitor we know she is? Tune in next week, for the next thrilling installment of Scooby Doo’s Creeps, Freaks and Peaks.

This article first appeared on the 25 Years Later blog as part of a Black Lodge/White Lodge debate on 18th August, 2017. You can read it in its natural habitat here.

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